Just when I've felt so sure about moving on, I ended up torn into pieces. Sometimes, we hold on to something which hurt us badly, but still we insist on keeping it. And when we've decided to let go and save ourselves from all the pain, we may have avoided suffering but our hands are null and empty. This I should say is what I've been pondering on for a month now. I've decided to forget about this guy after the ball, for the reason that I wouldn't be obliged to talk to him after that night. It's been a month now, and every little detail of that night lingers with me all the time. The love that once has made me complete made me feel utmost emptiness. I thought letting go would mean freedom from all the agonies of loving, but in truth not loving is not living at all. It's a self-redeeming act, which many of us would want to do to make ourselves feel better. But isn't loving, in its truest sense, the one that could bring us to such bliss? There's no sense in moving on, when reality slaps me with a hundred and one reasons to miss him day by day. There's no sense in letting go, when the truth is, I still want to hold on. I still am perplexed, but I am certain about one thing - I'M KEEPING HIM. I'll just be the same old me he used to have fun with. I'll remain true to myself. I don't intend to wait for so long, but I intend to stay as long as I have feelings for him. You know what hurts me the most right now? I know how much he likes the girl though she doesn't feel the same way. I wish I could tell the girl how lucky she is to have him down on his knees, and tell her how happy she could be with that guy. If only I could...

Today
Called the UP Office of the College Secretary for information about the APE.
At 1p, went to SPUQ to get a transcript and my High School ID Card.
Caught by Ms. Tan Llanos so I had to stay to check the Pauleen.
Edited a LOT. Dayyyyyyyyim!
Left SPUQ at 4p.
Met up with Pat Chua and Dods Lim at the Theatre Mall.
Along came Macu Cinco and Cat Maniego.
Had the Batangas pics developed at Kameraworld.
Bought beach slippers, a pair of earrings, and a DVD copy of the movie Love Actually. My first time to buy a pirated DVD copy! :P
Dined at Chili's with Dods, Pat and Macu. Too bad Cat didn't get to have her share of Dods' treat. Hey Dods, thanks! We owe a lot to you! :P
Walked from Chili's to First Quadrant.
Made blurbs about love and life. Senti mode - ON. Yaay! :P
Made it to the homebase at 9:30p.

Oh, and I've uploaded the pics we had a while ago here.

Pffffft. YOU. I MISS YOU!